Dear diary,
So here we are again. Almost 8 months after my last entry. I have been saved since then by my Ray who has rescued me from the tresses of my own anxiety. However, I do find myself writing to you when the innards of my heart race a mile a minute with uncertainity. Of course you are there to help calm these stormy waters. And for that I thank you:) I thank you very much. As I see letters spill onto this white...starch white canvass and letters forming into words and words into sentences, I realise these are my thoughts running so rampantly in my mind.
I have this wave of uncertanity in my mind and yet the nervous excitement and thrill as I venture into the plethora awaiting me into the unknown. I say plethora because for the first time I think I am going to do exactly what I want and for that I am so thankful to God for sending Ray my way. Oh dear he can be annoying as hell but as he calms my worst fears he rescues me. As I look out my window the blue skies I no longer feel taunted at but feel that the unknown is a wonderful place full of possibilities.
My journey with Cordia ends in a little over two weeks. I have grown here and become a different person here. I had my first heartbreak here. I fell in love here. I was hot here...lol:). I formed relationships here. I grew here. Is there going to be another place that will help me do the same? I think so. I smile as these two weeks get nearer because I will have the opportunity to grow into newer things.
I just want to bookmark this journey because I want to know what I will feel ten years from now. Wow, how time has flown. I gained a considerable amount of grey hairs here....lol:)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Day Twenty Seven
Friday 02/07/2011
So, today is the day. I have a pep in my step and am actually excited to see Stone. Stone has and will always be the love of my life...even if we do not end up together. I am so thrilled that I have reached this new level in my life. So, I go through my day with this sole anticipation. Nervous nervous nervous. We have not seen each other in two years. He has sent me an email early in the morning asking me to email him instead of conversing with him via FB and also he does not have a phone. So, we chat via email and he tells me that he gets off at 5 and will be heading my way as soon as he is done with class at 6:45. I am expecting him to get to my place at 7:30 then. So cool I have plenty of time as I have told him that I would be home at 5:30 after running some errands.
After my work day...I run out to pick up last minute things for the cake and am forced to be innovative because I waited till the last minute. No biggie...I get home in a jiffy and start on things. I clean up first and assemble the cake. After the cake is done I get ready. And just tidy up some and put on a movie and sit at my laptop. I am getting nervous as it is 7:15. Oh boy...I have to use the restroom. As soon as I am re-fixing my hair...I hear a familiar voice at my door. My heart races at a mile a minute. I get to the door and yes! it is him!. It is as if no time has passed. We hug and hug and hug. We come in and hug some more. It is such a good feeling. I have missed him so much. My home looks different and he takes the tour. We talk with the heavy presence of the elephant in the room. So, after we get a little comfortable I ask him if he would like to stay for dinner. Sensing his hesitation I did not press him to stay (another milestone for me) and told him so as well. He decided to stay for dinner. I started prepping for dinner while he sat there and talked to me. We talked about everything...I mean everything. It felt so so nice. It was almost no time had passed between us. Almost as if I had just seen him yesterday. It felt so nice to have him there while I cooked for us. He is so easy to talk to and I can talk to him about anything. I have never had a good friend let alone a guy friend that I can be so comfortable around until recently in my life. I really cherish moments like these. I am still nervous yet so content on the inside. All of a sudden I hear a rap on the door and go to check and voila...its my SISTERS!!! I am confused and happy at the same time. I dont think I knew what I felt...lol:) I was happy though because it definitely cut the tension tenfold. I love watching him with my sisters. I could watch the three of them all day. I love watching him interract with my Mother...it is just such an endearing moment.
The night just flows so well amongst laughter, playful banter and good food. There is so much going on that I can barely stay focused. I love the way my sisters have taken charge of the situation and made a stressful situation less stressful. They have to be home before their curfew so they make plans for all of us to hang out for a day...yes!!!
The quiet settles back in and Stone and I hang out on the balcony and catch up. I dont think we have ever had this moment before... to just sit and talk. He always had to be somewhere before. So, this felt nice. He has grown a bit and is content. I love that. Have not seen him like this at all. He refuses to take the cake without paying me and after a tiff...leaves the money on my counter. I box it up and give him a hug. I give him a tight hug and apologize for hurting his feelings but had to express myself in the letter I wrote him. He said it was water under the bridge and that I did not have to be sorry. He said the only reason he ordered the cake was to see me and could not imagine that he could hurt me and was so sorry. It was quite evident that him and I had grown quite a bit. Although moments had passed from the time he was getting ready to leave, neither one of us moved towards the door. I just couldnt and neither did he. We could just stand there and could have allowed time to pass. I cant really explain it but know exactly how that moment felt...three days later as I write this entry. What is this feeling? I cannot shake it off. It has been four years and he still makes me feel the way I did...like when I saw him for the very first time. He said the same thing...as if no time had passed and it was as if our eyes met just yesterday. I sleep with a big smile on my face tonight. Thank you:)
So, today is the day. I have a pep in my step and am actually excited to see Stone. Stone has and will always be the love of my life...even if we do not end up together. I am so thrilled that I have reached this new level in my life. So, I go through my day with this sole anticipation. Nervous nervous nervous. We have not seen each other in two years. He has sent me an email early in the morning asking me to email him instead of conversing with him via FB and also he does not have a phone. So, we chat via email and he tells me that he gets off at 5 and will be heading my way as soon as he is done with class at 6:45. I am expecting him to get to my place at 7:30 then. So cool I have plenty of time as I have told him that I would be home at 5:30 after running some errands.
After my work day...I run out to pick up last minute things for the cake and am forced to be innovative because I waited till the last minute. No biggie...I get home in a jiffy and start on things. I clean up first and assemble the cake. After the cake is done I get ready. And just tidy up some and put on a movie and sit at my laptop. I am getting nervous as it is 7:15. Oh boy...I have to use the restroom. As soon as I am re-fixing my hair...I hear a familiar voice at my door. My heart races at a mile a minute. I get to the door and yes! it is him!. It is as if no time has passed. We hug and hug and hug. We come in and hug some more. It is such a good feeling. I have missed him so much. My home looks different and he takes the tour. We talk with the heavy presence of the elephant in the room. So, after we get a little comfortable I ask him if he would like to stay for dinner. Sensing his hesitation I did not press him to stay (another milestone for me) and told him so as well. He decided to stay for dinner. I started prepping for dinner while he sat there and talked to me. We talked about everything...I mean everything. It felt so so nice. It was almost no time had passed between us. Almost as if I had just seen him yesterday. It felt so nice to have him there while I cooked for us. He is so easy to talk to and I can talk to him about anything. I have never had a good friend let alone a guy friend that I can be so comfortable around until recently in my life. I really cherish moments like these. I am still nervous yet so content on the inside. All of a sudden I hear a rap on the door and go to check and voila...its my SISTERS!!! I am confused and happy at the same time. I dont think I knew what I felt...lol:) I was happy though because it definitely cut the tension tenfold. I love watching him with my sisters. I could watch the three of them all day. I love watching him interract with my Mother...it is just such an endearing moment.
The night just flows so well amongst laughter, playful banter and good food. There is so much going on that I can barely stay focused. I love the way my sisters have taken charge of the situation and made a stressful situation less stressful. They have to be home before their curfew so they make plans for all of us to hang out for a day...yes!!!
The quiet settles back in and Stone and I hang out on the balcony and catch up. I dont think we have ever had this moment before... to just sit and talk. He always had to be somewhere before. So, this felt nice. He has grown a bit and is content. I love that. Have not seen him like this at all. He refuses to take the cake without paying me and after a tiff...leaves the money on my counter. I box it up and give him a hug. I give him a tight hug and apologize for hurting his feelings but had to express myself in the letter I wrote him. He said it was water under the bridge and that I did not have to be sorry. He said the only reason he ordered the cake was to see me and could not imagine that he could hurt me and was so sorry. It was quite evident that him and I had grown quite a bit. Although moments had passed from the time he was getting ready to leave, neither one of us moved towards the door. I just couldnt and neither did he. We could just stand there and could have allowed time to pass. I cant really explain it but know exactly how that moment felt...three days later as I write this entry. What is this feeling? I cannot shake it off. It has been four years and he still makes me feel the way I did...like when I saw him for the very first time. He said the same thing...as if no time had passed and it was as if our eyes met just yesterday. I sleep with a big smile on my face tonight. Thank you:)
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Day Twenty six
Wednesday 02/03/2011,
I have blacked out in bed...lol:) I wake up in two hours feeling the initial poundings of a headache...o dear. Debate in my head...continue sleeping or wake up and take two Aleve and drink some water to prevent a day of regret. The signs of copious alcohol consumption are definitely going to surface with a vengeance and I need to nip it in the bud. So, I get up and do just that. I go to bed and and am up at 7:00 thanks to my neighbors but sleep has overtaken the noisy interruption and I go back to bed. I wake up startled at 8:00 and coax myself to sleep in till 08:30. Of course when that happens...I wake up every 5 mins. to check on the time and realising that that is a crazy way to sleep in...I jump out of bed at 8:35. I stretch and clock in to work,starting whatever processes are needed and start completing tasks in robot mode. If I put any thought to how tired I am I will crash. So mindnumbing activities are in order. All the laundry is folded and put away, trash gathered, bed made, dishes arranged, bedroom tidied up and the living room is coming together. Phew!!! I realise I only have ten minutes to make it to work...oh boy...I hurry up and pull a quick shower/brush combo and rush out. Oops did not take out the trash!
The day at work is pretty quiet as the boys are in Miami for a conference.
I want to come home tonight and just cook and stay in. This time I am sticking to my guns....hee hee:) I am so exhausted today...I need to prep for Stone who is coming to pick up the cake tommorrow. I get the cake ready - automatically I am transported to another dimesion when I am in my kitchen. I look out into my living room and am filled with serenity, contentment and peace. Cake is ready. The house is still not upto date as I would like it but it will do. I am not necessarily excited or the opposite...depends on how you look at it. I have not given an extra effort to Stones arrival. I am definitely stoked to see him but am not going to any lengths. I love this new feeling. I chat some with my best friend and call it a night and I am out:)
I have blacked out in bed...lol:) I wake up in two hours feeling the initial poundings of a headache...o dear. Debate in my head...continue sleeping or wake up and take two Aleve and drink some water to prevent a day of regret. The signs of copious alcohol consumption are definitely going to surface with a vengeance and I need to nip it in the bud. So, I get up and do just that. I go to bed and and am up at 7:00 thanks to my neighbors but sleep has overtaken the noisy interruption and I go back to bed. I wake up startled at 8:00 and coax myself to sleep in till 08:30. Of course when that happens...I wake up every 5 mins. to check on the time and realising that that is a crazy way to sleep in...I jump out of bed at 8:35. I stretch and clock in to work,starting whatever processes are needed and start completing tasks in robot mode. If I put any thought to how tired I am I will crash. So mindnumbing activities are in order. All the laundry is folded and put away, trash gathered, bed made, dishes arranged, bedroom tidied up and the living room is coming together. Phew!!! I realise I only have ten minutes to make it to work...oh boy...I hurry up and pull a quick shower/brush combo and rush out. Oops did not take out the trash!
The day at work is pretty quiet as the boys are in Miami for a conference.
I want to come home tonight and just cook and stay in. This time I am sticking to my guns....hee hee:) I am so exhausted today...I need to prep for Stone who is coming to pick up the cake tommorrow. I get the cake ready - automatically I am transported to another dimesion when I am in my kitchen. I look out into my living room and am filled with serenity, contentment and peace. Cake is ready. The house is still not upto date as I would like it but it will do. I am not necessarily excited or the opposite...depends on how you look at it. I have not given an extra effort to Stones arrival. I am definitely stoked to see him but am not going to any lengths. I love this new feeling. I chat some with my best friend and call it a night and I am out:)
Day Twenty five
Tuesday 02/01/2011
I am up at 7:30 to the first sounds of the morning(insert sarcasm). However, instead of going to bed I start on the list of things that I need to get done. I am feeling pretty rested in a long long time. I slept well throughout the night. Thank you neighbor:)
I paint the second coat of cream (blech) on my door to cover the beautiful burnt red that was on there prior to this color. I am rather sad but thats okay...rules are rules. I am excited so far how things are falling into place. I complete another load of laundry and start folding the laundry after making my bed. However, I get sidetracked and move on to something else. A lot of tasks have been accomplished and it is not 10:00 yet, however, I feel as if it is almost noon. By the time I get to work I feel it is time to go home:)
I want to come home tonight and just relax. However, in the deep recesses of mind I have a feeling that it might not be so. This happens to me on a regular basis. But I succumb to it and make the most of the impromptu opportunities not only for the myriad of chances of meeting new people but most definitely want to do as much as I can before the "deadline".
Work is rather fun and jovial...and I am feeling pretty good. I have this gnawing sensation eating me up everday about my weight and I know if it bothers me this much I should do something about it. Why do I need to look for motivation when the amazing boost to my self-esteem should be the only motivation I should need. Anyway, I had a really good eating day on Monday and not so eating day today. But, I want to tell myself that I must not stress about this and accept my body the way it is. I take a co-workers word and try this Cuban sandwich place...am so so disappointed. Note to self...never again. My stomach feels terrible. This is what happens when you eat food that is not good for you...lol:) The cream filled napolean is deeply disappointing as well....blech but I eat it anyway. Hehe...my deep desire to fill my belly.
It is already time to go home and I make plans to meetup with Ray tonight. We decide on some place in Thornton Park. I dress up cute and head out to meet up. We dine at this nice little joint and then he invites me to come with him to meet up with his bowling league. I agree and then the night just goes from one tangent to another. This is always the case when I hang out with Ray. Things are so unpredictable but so much fun!~!!! I have tons of fun laughing it up and after 3 drinks in my system I am full of joyful bantor. Right then plans are made to extend the night of fun after we leave from there at 11:00. We head out to this little private club and it is a whole different world in there. It is almost as if I have entered another dimension. The night is full of fun and laughter and great times. We roll out of there and head to breakfast. I have to keep reminding myself that it is only Tuesday and the promise of a workday beckons early on. I have a blast and I have had a great time and I am all smiles all the way to my bed...make up and all...oh my:)
I am up at 7:30 to the first sounds of the morning(insert sarcasm). However, instead of going to bed I start on the list of things that I need to get done. I am feeling pretty rested in a long long time. I slept well throughout the night. Thank you neighbor:)
I paint the second coat of cream (blech) on my door to cover the beautiful burnt red that was on there prior to this color. I am rather sad but thats okay...rules are rules. I am excited so far how things are falling into place. I complete another load of laundry and start folding the laundry after making my bed. However, I get sidetracked and move on to something else. A lot of tasks have been accomplished and it is not 10:00 yet, however, I feel as if it is almost noon. By the time I get to work I feel it is time to go home:)
I want to come home tonight and just relax. However, in the deep recesses of mind I have a feeling that it might not be so. This happens to me on a regular basis. But I succumb to it and make the most of the impromptu opportunities not only for the myriad of chances of meeting new people but most definitely want to do as much as I can before the "deadline".
Work is rather fun and jovial...and I am feeling pretty good. I have this gnawing sensation eating me up everday about my weight and I know if it bothers me this much I should do something about it. Why do I need to look for motivation when the amazing boost to my self-esteem should be the only motivation I should need. Anyway, I had a really good eating day on Monday and not so eating day today. But, I want to tell myself that I must not stress about this and accept my body the way it is. I take a co-workers word and try this Cuban sandwich place...am so so disappointed. Note to self...never again. My stomach feels terrible. This is what happens when you eat food that is not good for you...lol:) The cream filled napolean is deeply disappointing as well....blech but I eat it anyway. Hehe...my deep desire to fill my belly.
It is already time to go home and I make plans to meetup with Ray tonight. We decide on some place in Thornton Park. I dress up cute and head out to meet up. We dine at this nice little joint and then he invites me to come with him to meet up with his bowling league. I agree and then the night just goes from one tangent to another. This is always the case when I hang out with Ray. Things are so unpredictable but so much fun!~!!! I have tons of fun laughing it up and after 3 drinks in my system I am full of joyful bantor. Right then plans are made to extend the night of fun after we leave from there at 11:00. We head out to this little private club and it is a whole different world in there. It is almost as if I have entered another dimension. The night is full of fun and laughter and great times. We roll out of there and head to breakfast. I have to keep reminding myself that it is only Tuesday and the promise of a workday beckons early on. I have a blast and I have had a great time and I am all smiles all the way to my bed...make up and all...oh my:)
Day Twenty Four
Monday 01/31/2011
First task of the morning is to take care of a phase of operation cleanup. Stone is coming to pick up the cake on Thursday and I want the house to look good...but that is how I am no matter who comes over. So I have taken care of a load of laundry and put fresh sheets. I have cleaned the second bathroom. Am beginning to sort this healthy mess that I have created for myself in my living room. I compile all the trash and sweep the balcony clean and water the plants. Everything looks great...oh ya and made sure to wipe down the outdoor table. Now I can enjoy my cup of coffee. I sit out and enjoy the lovely breeze and once the coffe is consumed I am back to completing the rest of the chores. Work is going to be a busy day...I have already logged in and started the days processes...I am so grateful I can do that:)
I head out to work feeling accomplished. The work day is pretty smooth...however I cant wait to get home. I rush out to my hair dresser for my 4:30 appt. I am really excited....yay. I make it there and she looks at me like I have three heads. She tells me that my appointment was for Thursday...oh dear. However, she proceeds to tell me that if I waited a few minutes she would be able to squeeze me in. Yay!!!!!! I love the bounce after she is done with my hair but I feel it looks so short...:( Well, I am out of there after making sure to look out for her boyfriends resume that I offered to send to my IT guy. Her boyfriend is looking for another job so, knowing me I offer to help and see what I can do. I try but sometimes am not able to do much. So, I do what I can. I follow my heart and listening to its rhythm flows for me and it leaves me feeling gratified:)
Earlier during the day I made a mental note to look up a recipe for the yummy marinated mushroom appetizer I had at Ericas. I find a recipe that suggests the ingredients and seasonings that I think might be in the one I had over the weekend and head out to the store to pick those up after work.
I get the ingredients and once I get home decide not to make the marinade tonight. I just want to relax and make myself a hearty salad. I clean up a little more and sit back and enjoy the rest of the night. I am a little exhausted so I am in bed by 10.
Good night world:)
First task of the morning is to take care of a phase of operation cleanup. Stone is coming to pick up the cake on Thursday and I want the house to look good...but that is how I am no matter who comes over. So I have taken care of a load of laundry and put fresh sheets. I have cleaned the second bathroom. Am beginning to sort this healthy mess that I have created for myself in my living room. I compile all the trash and sweep the balcony clean and water the plants. Everything looks great...oh ya and made sure to wipe down the outdoor table. Now I can enjoy my cup of coffee. I sit out and enjoy the lovely breeze and once the coffe is consumed I am back to completing the rest of the chores. Work is going to be a busy day...I have already logged in and started the days processes...I am so grateful I can do that:)
I head out to work feeling accomplished. The work day is pretty smooth...however I cant wait to get home. I rush out to my hair dresser for my 4:30 appt. I am really excited....yay. I make it there and she looks at me like I have three heads. She tells me that my appointment was for Thursday...oh dear. However, she proceeds to tell me that if I waited a few minutes she would be able to squeeze me in. Yay!!!!!! I love the bounce after she is done with my hair but I feel it looks so short...:( Well, I am out of there after making sure to look out for her boyfriends resume that I offered to send to my IT guy. Her boyfriend is looking for another job so, knowing me I offer to help and see what I can do. I try but sometimes am not able to do much. So, I do what I can. I follow my heart and listening to its rhythm flows for me and it leaves me feeling gratified:)
Earlier during the day I made a mental note to look up a recipe for the yummy marinated mushroom appetizer I had at Ericas. I find a recipe that suggests the ingredients and seasonings that I think might be in the one I had over the weekend and head out to the store to pick those up after work.
I get the ingredients and once I get home decide not to make the marinade tonight. I just want to relax and make myself a hearty salad. I clean up a little more and sit back and enjoy the rest of the night. I am a little exhausted so I am in bed by 10.
Good night world:)
Day Twenty Three
Sunday 01/30/2011
I wake up to loud noises and am actually glad that I am up. I am up at 8. My b/f and I have decided to meet up at the downtown farmers market for breakfast. I have a list of to-dos for this morning but I don't think I am going to be able to get to those and make it to the market on time. What I am going to do is have a cup of coffee and then jump in the shower. I get ready...get my things and head out the door. We meet up at the dwntown farmers market and catch up on the previous days events and get upto date with the details of her date and my party adventures. Although I must say I love love love seeing her so light on her feet and happy. I really hope they get to proceed to date #2 pretty soon. He has so far been worthy of my praise. Good job guy!!!
We peruse through the fares of the market and stroll around looking for a breakfast place. Lo behold we get there and Ray still works there. We share tons of laughs and the three of us are having tons of fun. We enjoy a delicious breakfast amongst pieces of conversations, crazy jokes and more conversation. It is just such an easy and fun time. I love it. I am so lucky to have met this truly amazing friend and the wait till now has been so so so worth it. I have never had a friend I can call my own. It feels great. I dont want to recall growing up experiences but the cruelty kids make you endure does stick with you for a long time. Well lets just say I am dumping my demons and feel light as a butterfly. This journey in my life especially in my 30s has been completely mind blowing. After breakfast Ray wants to meetup sometime this week. I am so happy that Cynthia and Ray click. I make a mental note to check up with Ray on Tuesday about this drs. appt.
We walk around some more and then head to our cars. My b/f is so so happy and I really hope the guy treats her well.
I head out to see my Parents and Sisters and spend the rest of the day with them. My youngest sisters friend is spending the night as her Mother is out of town. The rest of the day is spent doing absolutely nothing. Also my birthday present from my youngest sister has arrived...my very own copy of Kardashian Konfidential!!!!! I am so so so excited. We are huge fans!!! I cant wait to see what tonights episode has in store for us while muching on my sisters famous nachos. The night is coming to a close and I await the first rays of tommorrow morning:)
I wake up to loud noises and am actually glad that I am up. I am up at 8. My b/f and I have decided to meet up at the downtown farmers market for breakfast. I have a list of to-dos for this morning but I don't think I am going to be able to get to those and make it to the market on time. What I am going to do is have a cup of coffee and then jump in the shower. I get ready...get my things and head out the door. We meet up at the dwntown farmers market and catch up on the previous days events and get upto date with the details of her date and my party adventures. Although I must say I love love love seeing her so light on her feet and happy. I really hope they get to proceed to date #2 pretty soon. He has so far been worthy of my praise. Good job guy!!!
We peruse through the fares of the market and stroll around looking for a breakfast place. Lo behold we get there and Ray still works there. We share tons of laughs and the three of us are having tons of fun. We enjoy a delicious breakfast amongst pieces of conversations, crazy jokes and more conversation. It is just such an easy and fun time. I love it. I am so lucky to have met this truly amazing friend and the wait till now has been so so so worth it. I have never had a friend I can call my own. It feels great. I dont want to recall growing up experiences but the cruelty kids make you endure does stick with you for a long time. Well lets just say I am dumping my demons and feel light as a butterfly. This journey in my life especially in my 30s has been completely mind blowing. After breakfast Ray wants to meetup sometime this week. I am so happy that Cynthia and Ray click. I make a mental note to check up with Ray on Tuesday about this drs. appt.
We walk around some more and then head to our cars. My b/f is so so happy and I really hope the guy treats her well.
I head out to see my Parents and Sisters and spend the rest of the day with them. My youngest sisters friend is spending the night as her Mother is out of town. The rest of the day is spent doing absolutely nothing. Also my birthday present from my youngest sister has arrived...my very own copy of Kardashian Konfidential!!!!! I am so so so excited. We are huge fans!!! I cant wait to see what tonights episode has in store for us while muching on my sisters famous nachos. The night is coming to a close and I await the first rays of tommorrow morning:)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Day Twenty Two
Saturday.
Today I had a list of to-dos that I was not going to dismiss. I woke up at 8:30 to the first yells of the morning. Usually it is the first light but for me it is the first yells that crack my eyelids open. I login to work and clean the kitchen after I start coffee. Wow, I am really getting into this cleaning thing with a vengeance and I am so glad I am keeping to my schedule. After cleaning the kitchen and rounding up the trash I have proceeded to cleaning the master bath. I have given myself two hours to get all the cleaning that I can fit into that timeframe. So far I am keeping up very well to that. Cleaning...done. Work...done. Shower and stuff....done. I partially get ready and pick up a baby shower gift that I need for the first party of the day. I come back and finish getting ready and head out. I go to publix and grab a small bunch of flowers for the mom to be and then on my way to the shower....complete the task of nicely assembling the gift and such while at a stop light. I touch base with my b/f about the final preparatory details of her lovely rendezvous in the evening. I get to my venue about 30 minutes late but see that other ladies are making their way there as well. Aaah I have arrived fashionably late. Perfect!!! I find the mother to be and hand her the flowers. She seems so happy to see me. I look for the other two that are going to be there and exchange niceties even though I do not care to. I am so confident and have taken extra care to doll up and feel good. The shower is pretty fun, I win a gift bag and score the recipe for this yummy dip. I am ready to head out and after my share of pleasantries...I am out. I feel really good about myself because I get out of there pretty confident and my head held high.
I head home...fix my makeup...assemble the gift for party number two and then head out hoping to see Tracy today. I get here about an hour late but looks like things have not progressed much and food is still being set out. So, I am happy that I was able to make it at a decent time to both events. Yessss!!!! I love multi-tasking. I was having a great time because I feel comfortable being around this crowd. I hang around a little bit after the crowd has thinned out. I am about to leave and after being coaxed into staying...of course I did not need much persuasion:)...I stay.
At this time...its just a few of us. It is pretty nice and fun. This couple that has stayed behind must be one of the nicest couples that I have met. They have been married about 33 years according to him and 32 years according to her. It was an eventful night filled with laughs. I finally make it home at around 1a.m:)
Today I had a list of to-dos that I was not going to dismiss. I woke up at 8:30 to the first yells of the morning. Usually it is the first light but for me it is the first yells that crack my eyelids open. I login to work and clean the kitchen after I start coffee. Wow, I am really getting into this cleaning thing with a vengeance and I am so glad I am keeping to my schedule. After cleaning the kitchen and rounding up the trash I have proceeded to cleaning the master bath. I have given myself two hours to get all the cleaning that I can fit into that timeframe. So far I am keeping up very well to that. Cleaning...done. Work...done. Shower and stuff....done. I partially get ready and pick up a baby shower gift that I need for the first party of the day. I come back and finish getting ready and head out. I go to publix and grab a small bunch of flowers for the mom to be and then on my way to the shower....complete the task of nicely assembling the gift and such while at a stop light. I touch base with my b/f about the final preparatory details of her lovely rendezvous in the evening. I get to my venue about 30 minutes late but see that other ladies are making their way there as well. Aaah I have arrived fashionably late. Perfect!!! I find the mother to be and hand her the flowers. She seems so happy to see me. I look for the other two that are going to be there and exchange niceties even though I do not care to. I am so confident and have taken extra care to doll up and feel good. The shower is pretty fun, I win a gift bag and score the recipe for this yummy dip. I am ready to head out and after my share of pleasantries...I am out. I feel really good about myself because I get out of there pretty confident and my head held high.
I head home...fix my makeup...assemble the gift for party number two and then head out hoping to see Tracy today. I get here about an hour late but looks like things have not progressed much and food is still being set out. So, I am happy that I was able to make it at a decent time to both events. Yessss!!!! I love multi-tasking. I was having a great time because I feel comfortable being around this crowd. I hang around a little bit after the crowd has thinned out. I am about to leave and after being coaxed into staying...of course I did not need much persuasion:)...I stay.
At this time...its just a few of us. It is pretty nice and fun. This couple that has stayed behind must be one of the nicest couples that I have met. They have been married about 33 years according to him and 32 years according to her. It was an eventful night filled with laughs. I finally make it home at around 1a.m:)
Day Twenty One
Friday,
Wake up this morning and I walk around in zombie mode however am solidly excited that it is Friday. Hurry up and login...hence commencing the rigmoral of they days activities. Note to self...clean house. But the propensity is intense because Stone is coming to pick up his cake. Previously I have let the anticipation leading up till that moment govern my entire being. Not this time. I am happy and nervous but no longer like a giddy little school girl. I head off to work and then make a mental note to pick up something for this weekends b'day party for a one year old. The workday has actually been fun and after a nice lunch of Thai food the day gets better as I sip on yummy thai tea. After the work day is done I head out to pick up a cute toy for the birthday party on saturday. I am looking forward to head home and do some baking to cheer me up. I love the calm that settles over me as I come home after a workday. I put on some music, take out ingredients needed for baking this yummy carrot cake. I have not motivation to bake anymore and the ingredients go back in the refrigerator. I just plop on my couch and watch a movie and look around again and tell myself to really clean this place up. I really do pray for a boost that I need so badly to get back on track. I cannot let a setback which of course should seem minor bring me down. Then I am letting the negatives win and that should never ever be the case. I do recognize that but just cannot seem to shake off this feeling. There is hope somewhere...there is light somewhere...there is hope somewhere.
My co-worker texts me and wants to go to Chillis and I force myself to say yes. I get ready and we head out there. She is so elusive this one. But I cannot get through to her so I just let it be and from now our friendly confines are just that...elusive. Her boyfriend joins us. I really am a little perturbed but just let things be. After an actually fun night...I head home and I am actually glad I went. Chillis three nights this week...lol...I need to own stock in this restaurant....:) Tomorrow is going to be a busy night so rest up. Well hurry up and get in bed to maximize my sleep because thanx to my neighbor I have been planning my sleep routine per her schedule...ah the comic reliefs of life:)
Wake up this morning and I walk around in zombie mode however am solidly excited that it is Friday. Hurry up and login...hence commencing the rigmoral of they days activities. Note to self...clean house. But the propensity is intense because Stone is coming to pick up his cake. Previously I have let the anticipation leading up till that moment govern my entire being. Not this time. I am happy and nervous but no longer like a giddy little school girl. I head off to work and then make a mental note to pick up something for this weekends b'day party for a one year old. The workday has actually been fun and after a nice lunch of Thai food the day gets better as I sip on yummy thai tea. After the work day is done I head out to pick up a cute toy for the birthday party on saturday. I am looking forward to head home and do some baking to cheer me up. I love the calm that settles over me as I come home after a workday. I put on some music, take out ingredients needed for baking this yummy carrot cake. I have not motivation to bake anymore and the ingredients go back in the refrigerator. I just plop on my couch and watch a movie and look around again and tell myself to really clean this place up. I really do pray for a boost that I need so badly to get back on track. I cannot let a setback which of course should seem minor bring me down. Then I am letting the negatives win and that should never ever be the case. I do recognize that but just cannot seem to shake off this feeling. There is hope somewhere...there is light somewhere...there is hope somewhere.
My co-worker texts me and wants to go to Chillis and I force myself to say yes. I get ready and we head out there. She is so elusive this one. But I cannot get through to her so I just let it be and from now our friendly confines are just that...elusive. Her boyfriend joins us. I really am a little perturbed but just let things be. After an actually fun night...I head home and I am actually glad I went. Chillis three nights this week...lol...I need to own stock in this restaurant....:) Tomorrow is going to be a busy night so rest up. Well hurry up and get in bed to maximize my sleep because thanx to my neighbor I have been planning my sleep routine per her schedule...ah the comic reliefs of life:)
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Day Twenty
Wow...twenty days...well today is the twentieth day. And so far I am feeling pretty accomplished. I am going to get as much as I can done. I am feeling a little down from the experience on Monday which only further reminds me of how incapacitated I feel. But, I need to stop....! I still have a long ways of freedom to go!!! I wake up feeling rather dejected and hopeless. I need to get back to my pre-funk stage. I am not feeling motivated to do anything. I force myself to clean my kitchen...put on a pot of coffee and start work. I love my coffee in the morning:)!:) Such a nice wake up! Did I talk to my friend last night...yes i did. The thought of him...makes me smile. I know why I feel so down. I feel weighed down with my upcoming situation and cannot shake it off. Also, I think it is time and I feel ready to have that special someone in my life that I can share my day with when I come home. It will happen in due time when God is ready and when He is ready for me to have that blessing. Until then I have to go with the emotions and go with the flow. Glimpses of my "friend" pass through my mind throughout the day and I can't stop from smiling on the inside. What can I say it is something that will always be there. We have a way of finding our ways back to each other...it is truly a pity that we are not together. Antonio has become somewhat of a distant memory...sadly because I did start liking him. Oh well...I did learn my lesson there.
My day at work has a certain pep to it....hmmm....:) I am light on my feet. I am not going to the gym today either. Motivation in that arena has hit a standstill. I was one of those people that despised non-gym goers and now I have become that person. O dear O my O geez.
I text my b/f to catch up with her on her upcoming date and we decide to meet up for dinner. Aaaah I am so excited beyond excitement!!! I get home and get a call from one of my ex co-workers. He is a good friend and was catching up with me on my situation and trying to shed light on it for me. He is such a positive person. I get ready and head off to dinner. Dinner as always is an event and then we head off to have coffee at a local wine shop. It is a fun night while we share laughs, quiz cards and comical moments with the duo that is playing music. I have had a great night and my friend heads on home:)
My day at work has a certain pep to it....hmmm....:) I am light on my feet. I am not going to the gym today either. Motivation in that arena has hit a standstill. I was one of those people that despised non-gym goers and now I have become that person. O dear O my O geez.
I text my b/f to catch up with her on her upcoming date and we decide to meet up for dinner. Aaaah I am so excited beyond excitement!!! I get home and get a call from one of my ex co-workers. He is a good friend and was catching up with me on my situation and trying to shed light on it for me. He is such a positive person. I get ready and head off to dinner. Dinner as always is an event and then we head off to have coffee at a local wine shop. It is a fun night while we share laughs, quiz cards and comical moments with the duo that is playing music. I have had a great night and my friend heads on home:)
Day Nineteen
I am really not feeling it this morning either. What is going on??? I gotta snap out of this funk pretty quickly otherwise knowing myself I am going to regret these wasted opportunities/moments. I dont want to get out of bed, my home is a mess mess mess. I look around and am just frustrated. I make a mental note to clean. I hurry up and take a shower after logging in and starting a few tasks. I drink my coffee, pray and head out the door. I get to work and work till its time to go home. Our CEO walks by the I/T cubicle where I am having my lunch and starts working on his key to replace the battery. I let him know that I have the same problem and he goes ahead and fixes my key as well. So sweet!!! I ask him what I owe him and I owe him $5 vs. the dealer that would have charged me $50. I am always thankful for these littles treats that work their way into my day. I am thankful for everything...at least I try to be. Today is going to be a great day. Had some fun laughs with my co-workers and the day has been pretty fun.
I make a mental note of heading home before the big tornado is supposed to hit. I stop by the local grocery store and pick up some of their yummy chicken and head home. I am not going to the gym tonight. I get home and cook some brown rice to go with my chicken and with a little hot sauce I set down to eat my meal and watch a movie. At this point the storm has gathered with all its fury and comes crashing down in torrents. I hope people on the roads are safe. I have kept my main door open and closed in the screen door. I watch the rainfall and love the sounds. I wish this room was clean as it is a real distraction. I love my meal and continue to watch the movie. I would like to enjoy a cup of coffee and watch the rain but decide against the coffee...because I might stay up all night. I have also noticed on more than one occassion how the accumulation of "stuff" all over my house affects my mood. If everything is in its place I am so happy and if things are in disarray I am just irritated. Feng Shui???
Anyways, against my moral mental debate I plop back on my couch and have a compelling need to check my FB page...eventhough I just checked about half an hour ago. What could have possibly changed? A lingering feeling in my heart coaxes me to do so hoping that my "friend" is online. As the online friends list pops up my heart skips a beat. He is indeed online. No sooner do I recoil from this excitement he starts chatting with me online. I am so so happy. I have missed him. He is my soulmate...well I think so...akin to me in a way no man has ever been. I can tell him anything. I have never ever been able to have this kind of relationship with a man before. We could be apart for years and when we do talk it is as if no time has passed between us. I have not seen him for 2 years...partly because he has been serving and partly because of an exchange of words between us. So, we start talking and the discussion gets pretty heavy. I excuse myself to use the restroom because i really have to and when i return he has completely changed the conversation. I do realise later that I should have coaxed him to continue. Knowing him He probably took that as a hint that I did not want to have "the" conversation with him. Well, I am just so happy to talk to him, I lose track of time. I have known this man for four years and he still has this effect on me. He needs me to make him my pineapple cake so he can come pick it up and take it to work. I love that about him. Everytime he starts a new job he makes sure to always order a cake from me to take it to his co-workers. Lol:) I am still giddy as I am entering this very sentence on my blog:) I have been thinking of him all day. I know I might never be the love of his life but to me he is always going to be that man that takes my breath away every time I see him. I will always love him:) I am so happy to have known this feeling. So many people live through life never experiencing this. I am glad I did. It is just a beautiful feeling. My night is lovely:) Good night world...I know that I am going to think about him everyday anticipating the time we get to see each other...a mental note to myself...clean this house a.s.a.p. and get on that cake pronto!!! Haha goodnight world:)
I make a mental note of heading home before the big tornado is supposed to hit. I stop by the local grocery store and pick up some of their yummy chicken and head home. I am not going to the gym tonight. I get home and cook some brown rice to go with my chicken and with a little hot sauce I set down to eat my meal and watch a movie. At this point the storm has gathered with all its fury and comes crashing down in torrents. I hope people on the roads are safe. I have kept my main door open and closed in the screen door. I watch the rainfall and love the sounds. I wish this room was clean as it is a real distraction. I love my meal and continue to watch the movie. I would like to enjoy a cup of coffee and watch the rain but decide against the coffee...because I might stay up all night. I have also noticed on more than one occassion how the accumulation of "stuff" all over my house affects my mood. If everything is in its place I am so happy and if things are in disarray I am just irritated. Feng Shui???
Anyways, against my moral mental debate I plop back on my couch and have a compelling need to check my FB page...eventhough I just checked about half an hour ago. What could have possibly changed? A lingering feeling in my heart coaxes me to do so hoping that my "friend" is online. As the online friends list pops up my heart skips a beat. He is indeed online. No sooner do I recoil from this excitement he starts chatting with me online. I am so so happy. I have missed him. He is my soulmate...well I think so...akin to me in a way no man has ever been. I can tell him anything. I have never ever been able to have this kind of relationship with a man before. We could be apart for years and when we do talk it is as if no time has passed between us. I have not seen him for 2 years...partly because he has been serving and partly because of an exchange of words between us. So, we start talking and the discussion gets pretty heavy. I excuse myself to use the restroom because i really have to and when i return he has completely changed the conversation. I do realise later that I should have coaxed him to continue. Knowing him He probably took that as a hint that I did not want to have "the" conversation with him. Well, I am just so happy to talk to him, I lose track of time. I have known this man for four years and he still has this effect on me. He needs me to make him my pineapple cake so he can come pick it up and take it to work. I love that about him. Everytime he starts a new job he makes sure to always order a cake from me to take it to his co-workers. Lol:) I am still giddy as I am entering this very sentence on my blog:) I have been thinking of him all day. I know I might never be the love of his life but to me he is always going to be that man that takes my breath away every time I see him. I will always love him:) I am so happy to have known this feeling. So many people live through life never experiencing this. I am glad I did. It is just a beautiful feeling. My night is lovely:) Good night world...I know that I am going to think about him everyday anticipating the time we get to see each other...a mental note to myself...clean this house a.s.a.p. and get on that cake pronto!!! Haha goodnight world:)
Day Eighteen
Happy Monday beautiful world,
Oh my gosh I have overslept. I login to work and brew my coffee. A part if me is hoping to hear from Antonio...well an apology would be nice. And a bigh part of me is hoping I never hear from him. So when I do not hear from him at all I am a little dejected but so so very happy because I do not need a man in my life who does not know how to respect a woman. There is no pep in my step today, my house is a mess...I am just feeling irritated. I dont have that spunk that I so desperately need to absolutely relish each day leading upto my deadline. Anyway, I get to work. I dont hear from Antonio and completely write him off...well almost. Ugh so disappointing. A part of me thinks he is ashamed of his actions and is not texting because he does not know what to say and is simply embarrassed. Oh well...he should be embarrassed. I do get a nice message from Johns g/f saying that she really enjoyed meeting me and that we should hangout again with the boys(John and Antonio). I write back something really nice to her but do not touch on the topic of meeting up with the boys. I go home and go to dinner with a friend and come home. I get ready to go the gym. I am getting ready to turn to enter the parking lot at the gym and get pulled over. I know for sure that I was not speeding. He ran a quick check and drove off. So weird! I workout and then proceed to cancel my gym membership. I stop by at my parents and eat dinner with my Sisters I then head home and just fall on my couch and lay there till midnight. I should have gone to bed earlier because I was really tired. I head to bed knowing that tomorrow is going to be one of those days that I am running late...:) Goodnight world:) I need to go to Borders as much as I can (a mental note:))
Oh my gosh I have overslept. I login to work and brew my coffee. A part if me is hoping to hear from Antonio...well an apology would be nice. And a bigh part of me is hoping I never hear from him. So when I do not hear from him at all I am a little dejected but so so very happy because I do not need a man in my life who does not know how to respect a woman. There is no pep in my step today, my house is a mess...I am just feeling irritated. I dont have that spunk that I so desperately need to absolutely relish each day leading upto my deadline. Anyway, I get to work. I dont hear from Antonio and completely write him off...well almost. Ugh so disappointing. A part of me thinks he is ashamed of his actions and is not texting because he does not know what to say and is simply embarrassed. Oh well...he should be embarrassed. I do get a nice message from Johns g/f saying that she really enjoyed meeting me and that we should hangout again with the boys(John and Antonio). I write back something really nice to her but do not touch on the topic of meeting up with the boys. I go home and go to dinner with a friend and come home. I get ready to go the gym. I am getting ready to turn to enter the parking lot at the gym and get pulled over. I know for sure that I was not speeding. He ran a quick check and drove off. So weird! I workout and then proceed to cancel my gym membership. I stop by at my parents and eat dinner with my Sisters I then head home and just fall on my couch and lay there till midnight. I should have gone to bed earlier because I was really tired. I head to bed knowing that tomorrow is going to be one of those days that I am running late...:) Goodnight world:) I need to go to Borders as much as I can (a mental note:))
Day Seventeen
I am pretty alert throughout the night and once it is 7 I am fully awake. Antonio and I head out to his car...we wait for the frost to melt from the window. He starts yet another conversation all the way to our destination. Baffling at most is how him and I can have such a wonderful conversation and nothing beyond that. I am truly disgusted at this point and want nothing more than to be home. He drops me off and without a nod is already gone. I stop for some coffee and donuts fresh off the conveyor at Krispy Kreme. Aah it feel good to eat my feelings right now. I get home and crash only to be awakened by my phone. Oh dear I am late getting to temple. I shower and get ready. I get to temple and my heart is so so heavy. I cannot wait to see my Family. I am so happy to see them. After temple we go to get some shopping done...nothing like retail therapy to mend a hurt heart. On my way home I text my best friend because I need to talk to her about my situation. She calls me immediately and I have the best soul-relaxing conversation with her and I feel so much better. I love love love her. And all day I love being with my Sisters as they help me heal. It is a great day and I have sworn to myself never to go out on a date ever again. The thought itself disgusts me. The rest of the day is so nice and relaxing and the day ends with watching The Kardashians. I go home and am pretty content with the happenings of the day. Life is pretty amazing when you have such wonderful people in your life. It is not the number of people that you have in your life that matters...it is the number of times you thing about those people and know that no matter what they will be there for you...no matter what:)
Day Sixteen
I wake up so refreshed and relaxed. Aaah the beauty of slumber in all its glory. I sleep so so well. I wake up and go back to sleep and this goes on about three times and then I finally wake up around 10 or so. My friend is still sleeping and her husband is working from home. He goes and wakes her up. She gets up and makes Indian tea while I fix her husbands computer issue. It seems like a pretty quick fix. And voila his computer is fixed and he is able to get back to work. He is like a kid in a candy store...lol:) And I am left with a really nice feeling of accomplishment. I am munching on some muffins while tea and breakfast are taken care of. We enjoy a traditional breakfast of steamed rice cakes and tea. In mid breakfast the conversation gets a little heated. Mind you she is a therapist in training and feels the need to analyse me and I dont think she realises she is doing that. She throws off a lot of negative energy...more like a tone of judgement and negation. So at this point I had to put my foot down and express my opinion. She felt really offended and instantly changed her tone getting very defensive at the same time. I did not want that to be the tone of the rest of my day...so made peace pretty quickly because I was leaving in a couple of hours. A while later we had a light lunch...Indian style thai noodles. I must say she is pretty resourceful in creating quick meals that taste good. Also because her husband being Pakistani will not eat bland food...lol:)
We chit chat some more and her husband cant thank me enough for fixing his computer...I am so happy right now...also because I get to go back to Orlando. And I get a text from my best friend...I am all smiles. As I am getting ready to drive to Orlando I get a text for Antonio and we are deciding what to do tonight. I figured I would like to give this guy a chance as he has been persuasive not in a creepy sort of way and I do like him a little bit...maybe more than a little bit...lol:) So now I have a pep in my step for the rest of the day.
On my way back to Orlando, I make a mental note of tonights outfit and plan out hair and other details in my head. lol:) Oh and will need to redo my nails. So I get to Orlando and pass by Whole foods market...do a U-turn and go in. I get some goodies and head out to my Parents home. I hang out with my sisters and their friend who is spending the night. I get ready after realising that all my key things are in my car and will not need to go home at all. My Sister does my nails and I am supposed to meet Antonio at this really cool hangout spot at midnight after he gets out of work. His friend texted me to let me know that him and his girlfriend are already there. So I head out to meet them and wait for Antonio with them. After paying my way in...I find John and his girlfriend and sit down to talk to them. I dont get a drink because I want to wait for Antonio. Antonio gets there...oh gosh I feel like I have waited for ages...I guess I do really like him:))) My heart skips a beat. We have been sitting indoors and watching people dancing to salsa, merengue and bachata. Antonio suggests we go sit outside...its super cold but they have warmers so its cool. We sit out and Antonio gets us drinks. We take pictures posing for this photographer. Mental note...I need to check out the website to see our pics for that night. We share some laughs and then go in to dance. I am really enjoying my time with Antonio. Time passes so quickly and I did not want the night to end. Anyway so after last call...we decide to step out and listen to the band playing outside for a little bit before heading our separate ways. At this point I am hoping to get a goodnight kiss. On our way out John invites me to their home...(the three of them are roommates) to hangout. A part of me does not want to and a big part of me wants to. I have been there before and we have had fun. So I go and John suggests that I leave my car there and then Antonio can just drop me off. So I ride with Antonio to their home. We have a really lovely conversation as we drive to his home. I want to kiss him. We get to his house and sit down with our water bottles and sit down to play Uno. It is so much fun but in the midst of it all, John and his girlfriend/roommate cannot keep their hands off each other. Awkward!!!! It is really really awkward. So after a fun game of UNO they head off to the bedroom and Antonio and I head to his room to watch a movie. In the deep recesses of my mind I am hoping he is a real gentleman. Anyways things do not turn out exactly how they did in my mind and lets just say I was really upset by his actions. I wanted to go home but my car was parked at the club. I prayed for the morning to come quickly and wanted to cry. I dont understand how someone can appear to be a gentleman yet act the complete opposite. It is rightful to say that actions do speak louder than words.
We chit chat some more and her husband cant thank me enough for fixing his computer...I am so happy right now...also because I get to go back to Orlando. And I get a text from my best friend...I am all smiles. As I am getting ready to drive to Orlando I get a text for Antonio and we are deciding what to do tonight. I figured I would like to give this guy a chance as he has been persuasive not in a creepy sort of way and I do like him a little bit...maybe more than a little bit...lol:) So now I have a pep in my step for the rest of the day.
On my way back to Orlando, I make a mental note of tonights outfit and plan out hair and other details in my head. lol:) Oh and will need to redo my nails. So I get to Orlando and pass by Whole foods market...do a U-turn and go in. I get some goodies and head out to my Parents home. I hang out with my sisters and their friend who is spending the night. I get ready after realising that all my key things are in my car and will not need to go home at all. My Sister does my nails and I am supposed to meet Antonio at this really cool hangout spot at midnight after he gets out of work. His friend texted me to let me know that him and his girlfriend are already there. So I head out to meet them and wait for Antonio with them. After paying my way in...I find John and his girlfriend and sit down to talk to them. I dont get a drink because I want to wait for Antonio. Antonio gets there...oh gosh I feel like I have waited for ages...I guess I do really like him:))) My heart skips a beat. We have been sitting indoors and watching people dancing to salsa, merengue and bachata. Antonio suggests we go sit outside...its super cold but they have warmers so its cool. We sit out and Antonio gets us drinks. We take pictures posing for this photographer. Mental note...I need to check out the website to see our pics for that night. We share some laughs and then go in to dance. I am really enjoying my time with Antonio. Time passes so quickly and I did not want the night to end. Anyway so after last call...we decide to step out and listen to the band playing outside for a little bit before heading our separate ways. At this point I am hoping to get a goodnight kiss. On our way out John invites me to their home...(the three of them are roommates) to hangout. A part of me does not want to and a big part of me wants to. I have been there before and we have had fun. So I go and John suggests that I leave my car there and then Antonio can just drop me off. So I ride with Antonio to their home. We have a really lovely conversation as we drive to his home. I want to kiss him. We get to his house and sit down with our water bottles and sit down to play Uno. It is so much fun but in the midst of it all, John and his girlfriend/roommate cannot keep their hands off each other. Awkward!!!! It is really really awkward. So after a fun game of UNO they head off to the bedroom and Antonio and I head to his room to watch a movie. In the deep recesses of my mind I am hoping he is a real gentleman. Anyways things do not turn out exactly how they did in my mind and lets just say I was really upset by his actions. I wanted to go home but my car was parked at the club. I prayed for the morning to come quickly and wanted to cry. I dont understand how someone can appear to be a gentleman yet act the complete opposite. It is rightful to say that actions do speak louder than words.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Day Fifteen
Good morning...lol...almost feels like the dear diary days. I love it!!! Listening to Pink...day is gorgeous...drinking my coffee. Life is good. When did life get so complicated and when did we have to start growing up. As I reflect to my carefree days before I was 18...I did not have to worry about things that crowd our thought processes as we get older. Last night before going to bed I wondered how Shri looks and if he is a good guy? If he is going to want to take care of me? If he is going to cater to my needs? We shall see...:)
I cant wait to get a start on my social friday...have to run a couple of errands that fall on my list of daily to-dos and then heading out to spend the night at a friends home that I have not seen with over a year. I get to their home..it is quite lovely. We enjoy a nice dinner and I head...tons of conversations and then we head off to bed:)
I cant wait to get a start on my social friday...have to run a couple of errands that fall on my list of daily to-dos and then heading out to spend the night at a friends home that I have not seen with over a year. I get to their home..it is quite lovely. We enjoy a nice dinner and I head...tons of conversations and then we head off to bed:)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Day Fourteen
Good Morning World,
I have actually slept well through the night. So the bottom line is, I need to be in two days of zombie mode in order to sleep through the night...lol:) I get up and login to work and complete a few chores while my work tasks are running. I have a list of things that I need to accomplish on a daily basis before my deadline and thankfully I have been able to adhere to it. I sweep the balcony, gather the trash, clean my bedroom, sweep both the bathrooms, refill tp in both bathrooms, clean the dishes and put away clean ones. Phew! Now I jump in the shower and get ready for work. I get to work...refreshed. Work my way non stop through lunch...I have a mental list of things to be taken care of today. I also have the schedule for Monday which tells me that my friday and my weekend is actually going to be relaxing. I don't work Saturay...yay!!! So, at lunch I take care of notarizing a letter and stopping at the bank. Grab some lunch and come back. Letter faxed...my to do list for the day is done...done...done. I come home and wrap a house warming present for the friend I go to visit tomorrow. So tonight I am going to get everything ready for tomorrow. I call a friend of mine because I need to finish some work for her on her computer. Come to find out that her aunt is in the hospital. So, after making sure that her and her family are set for dinner tonight...I ask her to let me know if she needs anything. So, tonight I might stop by her house after she gets home. This way I can complete the work on her laptop and I can cross off another to-do from my list. Good day I think to myself as I am writing this entry and listening to some soothing music. You know what would top off this day...a lovely glass of red. Lolol...I do not crave it nor miss it... I am just saying...a glass of water will do just fine or even milk!!!...lol:) Well, my dear world if I have anything else to add for todays endeavors I will surely do so...If not then C'est la vie:)))
I have actually slept well through the night. So the bottom line is, I need to be in two days of zombie mode in order to sleep through the night...lol:) I get up and login to work and complete a few chores while my work tasks are running. I have a list of things that I need to accomplish on a daily basis before my deadline and thankfully I have been able to adhere to it. I sweep the balcony, gather the trash, clean my bedroom, sweep both the bathrooms, refill tp in both bathrooms, clean the dishes and put away clean ones. Phew! Now I jump in the shower and get ready for work. I get to work...refreshed. Work my way non stop through lunch...I have a mental list of things to be taken care of today. I also have the schedule for Monday which tells me that my friday and my weekend is actually going to be relaxing. I don't work Saturay...yay!!! So, at lunch I take care of notarizing a letter and stopping at the bank. Grab some lunch and come back. Letter faxed...my to do list for the day is done...done...done. I come home and wrap a house warming present for the friend I go to visit tomorrow. So tonight I am going to get everything ready for tomorrow. I call a friend of mine because I need to finish some work for her on her computer. Come to find out that her aunt is in the hospital. So, after making sure that her and her family are set for dinner tonight...I ask her to let me know if she needs anything. So, tonight I might stop by her house after she gets home. This way I can complete the work on her laptop and I can cross off another to-do from my list. Good day I think to myself as I am writing this entry and listening to some soothing music. You know what would top off this day...a lovely glass of red. Lolol...I do not crave it nor miss it... I am just saying...a glass of water will do just fine or even milk!!!...lol:) Well, my dear world if I have anything else to add for todays endeavors I will surely do so...If not then C'est la vie:)))
Day Thirteen
So today another one for the books...well isnt everyday really???? I am really tired this morning...I am sleep walking literally...oye! Also, oh goodness its Wednesday...I need to start early today! This short week has thrown me off course. Well I login to work and scramble out of the shower....get dressed and head off to work. Work is really busy...my eyes are tired and red from lack of sleep.
I get home and finish painting my red front door back to the boring beige. First coat done and now the door is drying. I am not going to the gym...and this house is a mess. However, I manage to get laundry done. Watch a movie "The Duchess"...really good movie based on a true story based on the life of the Duchess of Devonshire. I then make a pit stop at Publix and head on over to my Parents for a bit to hang out with my Sisters. We watch some tv and then I head on home. I start another movie...half way through I decide to call it a night. I toss and turn but finally fall asleep and drift off into deep slumber. Good night world!!!
I get home and finish painting my red front door back to the boring beige. First coat done and now the door is drying. I am not going to the gym...and this house is a mess. However, I manage to get laundry done. Watch a movie "The Duchess"...really good movie based on a true story based on the life of the Duchess of Devonshire. I then make a pit stop at Publix and head on over to my Parents for a bit to hang out with my Sisters. We watch some tv and then I head on home. I start another movie...half way through I decide to call it a night. I toss and turn but finally fall asleep and drift off into deep slumber. Good night world!!!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Day Twelve
Wow...sans twelve days. Really??? I believe so. But each day is accounted for and that is all we can do...right? I believe so. I am still so sleepy as I wake up. After logging in and having everything in place for today during the longweekend...I am hopeful towards a timely finish. I am so sleeeeeepy. Coffee does not do what its supposed to...that is okay. My goal is to get a couple of things done today...in regards to the deadline. Aah I cannot keep my eyes open. I get all my tasks done today...and head home. My handyman has called me so I call him back and he informs me that the complex maintenance guy has told him that they are going to start fining me $100/ day for my door. I called the mgr and informed him that I would have it done for them by friday and requested that they not charge me. He seemed pretty cooperative so I should be okay. Note to self...need to get the door painted asap.
I spoke to a friend earlier today and we have our birthdays a couple of days apart and each year we have called the other one a day off for a birthday wish...very rarely on the day of. She has been inviting me forever to go visit her and her husband in Tampa. They bought a home a year ago and I have promised to visit them. So we set the plan in gear today to meet this weekend on friday. Need to get it accomplished while I can. She bombards me with questions in regards to what I want to eat etc etc etc. I better take my stretchy pants...there is going to be a lot of food and snacking till the wee hours. lol....:) I keep forgettng that this is a short week and I am too close to friday...got tons to do. To go see her has currently become a priority because I have cancelled our plans way too many times...so one of my new years resolutions is to follow through on my engagements and of course another reason being my time limit. So I feel pretty good for setting this plan in motion.
Today was definitely not going to be a gym day...I needed to recuperate from the weekend. I had decided that early on in the morning. So, I stayed home, made some pasta and kicked back with some movies. Its been a good night so far...tomorrow is going to be even better and so is the day after that:)
I spoke to a friend earlier today and we have our birthdays a couple of days apart and each year we have called the other one a day off for a birthday wish...very rarely on the day of. She has been inviting me forever to go visit her and her husband in Tampa. They bought a home a year ago and I have promised to visit them. So we set the plan in gear today to meet this weekend on friday. Need to get it accomplished while I can. She bombards me with questions in regards to what I want to eat etc etc etc. I better take my stretchy pants...there is going to be a lot of food and snacking till the wee hours. lol....:) I keep forgettng that this is a short week and I am too close to friday...got tons to do. To go see her has currently become a priority because I have cancelled our plans way too many times...so one of my new years resolutions is to follow through on my engagements and of course another reason being my time limit. So I feel pretty good for setting this plan in motion.
Today was definitely not going to be a gym day...I needed to recuperate from the weekend. I had decided that early on in the morning. So, I stayed home, made some pasta and kicked back with some movies. Its been a good night so far...tomorrow is going to be even better and so is the day after that:)
Monday, January 17, 2011
Day Eleven
Good morning world,
I am up and ready to join my family to go the temple. I am excited because I get to go to temple on my birthday weekend. I havent been to the temple in a long time and I am really looking forward to it. After a minor disagreement with Mother the rest of the temple trip is pretty nice and enlightening. I feel content to have these moments...well not this particular one because I am just frustrated. But that is okay...it happens. We get to the temple and it is such a peaceful atmosphere. It is calm and serene. I just wish they would keep the temple neat. It is cluttered with stuff. Just a thought.
We head to the temple cafeteria and we eat our meals...yummy plethora of dosa, idli, mango lassi and bundi laddoo. Oh my gosh so so so good. I had texted my b/f at this point where I was because I was going over to her house for a sleepover....:))))))))
We are then homeward bound and I am just happy to have spent the day with my family. We get home, change and Pinky, Shruti and I head to Michaels. A hankering for some icecream and we head to Coldstone Creamery with my sisters. My sisters love ice cream...not me...just thought I'd mention it...lol:) We pass by the fair on our way home...a little fair that has congregated in the parking lot of our mall. We get there and most definitely looked good from far. We spent $20 on cotton candy, a frozen ice and a ferris wheel ride....a truly blatant waste. The ferris wheel was good but then we just decided to leave...because it was not what we perceived for it to be.
We get home and I leave for my friends home from there. As I am driving away...I miss my sisters...:/ I know I am a big dork. I get to my friends home and I am greeted with love and smiles. It is going to be a great night. We talk and leave her younger sister to write her paper and have heartfelt conversations in the living room over yummy snacks and coffee. It feels so so so good. She always makes my heart smile and I can just pour out my thoughts to her in any random fashion. Also I get this lovely bday card from her that made my heart smile from cheek to cheek...hee hee.
We then decide to go to the Korean restaurant by her house and that is where her crush works as well. An awkward incident has left the situation lets just say in mid-air full of unknowns at this point. But we get there and the situation turns out to be in our advantage...the night is full of laughter, playful banter, and tons of fun...phew!!! I am so happy for her at this point. Enough to suffice at this point and say that our lovely foreigner has completely and whole heartedly "Woo-ed" her....!!!!! We just cant seemed to get enough of it and laugh about it all the way home.
We get home full of smiles...we are having just a wonderful girl time...o goodness...it is just lovely. She bakes her yummy gingerbread cake...we watch "My big fat greek wedding"....while eating cake and drinking tea after which we go to bed. I am suddenly really tired.
We wake up to the sound of raindrops...it looks lovely outside. We talk over coffee and a quaint breakfast and the rest of our day just flows harmoniously. I then head out around 4ish...towards my parents home. I have had a great great great time...!!!!
I arrive at mi parents casa...my sister is sick...poor thing...she looks miserable. She is laying on the couch and my other sister and her boyfriend are lounging on the couch. I am just so so happy to see them. My Mom just gets home from work and I love her. The discussion I had a little while ago with my best friend in regards to my Mother just re-instated at this point how much I love her...! I make some tea for us and then She heads on into the kitchen to cook tonights dinner. I watch her cook and help her out some. I then make chappatis and ask her to just not do anything. She mentions how its been a while since She has had chappatis as She has made parathas everyday to save time and She is just too exhausted after work. Chappatis are thin Indian breads and take way longer to make than Parathas which are thicker breads and take less time to prepare. So, I have offered to make her chappatis on the weekends. She is my Mom...a beautiful soul that has raised me without any care for herself...the least I can do is do something little to make her smile. I never want to do anything to disappoint her...ever!
We have a lovely dinner of spinach curry, lentil rice and chappatis with yogurt soup. This is one of my favorite meals...my Mom just has this amazing magic touch to make a meal well, simple magnificent. With our bellies full...we clean up and then settle down to watch some t.v. We wait on my younger sister who left with her boyfriend to have dinner with his parents. We then proceed to watch Jersey Shore more so for entertaining purposes than to feed the nimble mind. Good laughs...lol. I then head out to go home...amid hugs and good night wishes. Bittersweet because I miss my family...happy because life is good:) Good night world...may the infinite sky shower all of us with infinite blessings....:)
I am up and ready to join my family to go the temple. I am excited because I get to go to temple on my birthday weekend. I havent been to the temple in a long time and I am really looking forward to it. After a minor disagreement with Mother the rest of the temple trip is pretty nice and enlightening. I feel content to have these moments...well not this particular one because I am just frustrated. But that is okay...it happens. We get to the temple and it is such a peaceful atmosphere. It is calm and serene. I just wish they would keep the temple neat. It is cluttered with stuff. Just a thought.
We head to the temple cafeteria and we eat our meals...yummy plethora of dosa, idli, mango lassi and bundi laddoo. Oh my gosh so so so good. I had texted my b/f at this point where I was because I was going over to her house for a sleepover....:))))))))
We are then homeward bound and I am just happy to have spent the day with my family. We get home, change and Pinky, Shruti and I head to Michaels. A hankering for some icecream and we head to Coldstone Creamery with my sisters. My sisters love ice cream...not me...just thought I'd mention it...lol:) We pass by the fair on our way home...a little fair that has congregated in the parking lot of our mall. We get there and most definitely looked good from far. We spent $20 on cotton candy, a frozen ice and a ferris wheel ride....a truly blatant waste. The ferris wheel was good but then we just decided to leave...because it was not what we perceived for it to be.
We get home and I leave for my friends home from there. As I am driving away...I miss my sisters...:/ I know I am a big dork. I get to my friends home and I am greeted with love and smiles. It is going to be a great night. We talk and leave her younger sister to write her paper and have heartfelt conversations in the living room over yummy snacks and coffee. It feels so so so good. She always makes my heart smile and I can just pour out my thoughts to her in any random fashion. Also I get this lovely bday card from her that made my heart smile from cheek to cheek...hee hee.
We then decide to go to the Korean restaurant by her house and that is where her crush works as well. An awkward incident has left the situation lets just say in mid-air full of unknowns at this point. But we get there and the situation turns out to be in our advantage...the night is full of laughter, playful banter, and tons of fun...phew!!! I am so happy for her at this point. Enough to suffice at this point and say that our lovely foreigner has completely and whole heartedly "Woo-ed" her....!!!!! We just cant seemed to get enough of it and laugh about it all the way home.
We get home full of smiles...we are having just a wonderful girl time...o goodness...it is just lovely. She bakes her yummy gingerbread cake...we watch "My big fat greek wedding"....while eating cake and drinking tea after which we go to bed. I am suddenly really tired.
We wake up to the sound of raindrops...it looks lovely outside. We talk over coffee and a quaint breakfast and the rest of our day just flows harmoniously. I then head out around 4ish...towards my parents home. I have had a great great great time...!!!!
I arrive at mi parents casa...my sister is sick...poor thing...she looks miserable. She is laying on the couch and my other sister and her boyfriend are lounging on the couch. I am just so so happy to see them. My Mom just gets home from work and I love her. The discussion I had a little while ago with my best friend in regards to my Mother just re-instated at this point how much I love her...! I make some tea for us and then She heads on into the kitchen to cook tonights dinner. I watch her cook and help her out some. I then make chappatis and ask her to just not do anything. She mentions how its been a while since She has had chappatis as She has made parathas everyday to save time and She is just too exhausted after work. Chappatis are thin Indian breads and take way longer to make than Parathas which are thicker breads and take less time to prepare. So, I have offered to make her chappatis on the weekends. She is my Mom...a beautiful soul that has raised me without any care for herself...the least I can do is do something little to make her smile. I never want to do anything to disappoint her...ever!
We have a lovely dinner of spinach curry, lentil rice and chappatis with yogurt soup. This is one of my favorite meals...my Mom just has this amazing magic touch to make a meal well, simple magnificent. With our bellies full...we clean up and then settle down to watch some t.v. We wait on my younger sister who left with her boyfriend to have dinner with his parents. We then proceed to watch Jersey Shore more so for entertaining purposes than to feed the nimble mind. Good laughs...lol. I then head out to go home...amid hugs and good night wishes. Bittersweet because I miss my family...happy because life is good:) Good night world...may the infinite sky shower all of us with infinite blessings....:)
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Day Ten
O wow what a whirlwind the past nine days have been. I have really taken stock of every single moment. I love being that happy delirious medium. Happy Birthday to Me!!!! O glorious Angels in heaven you have blessed me with a wonderful family...that includes everyone that I hold dear to my heart...my Parents...my Sisters and my closest of close friends...and every sould that touches me daily and makes me give thanks to God.:) Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!
Today I am inundated with birthday wishes and I love it!!! I want to celebrate today the best way I can. Pinky always tells me..."it is your birthday...enjoy it and have fun"...and for the first time at being a brand new 38 year old I am in a whole new element to enjoy my birthday.
I told myself that I would wake up as early as I could...so I did. Shower..done. Started work and now am waiting for Anthony to take care of some house projects that I want to get done. I know its my birthday but this is my birthday present to me...to get things fixed in my home. I am really excited to see what today brings. I am going get everything ready while Anthony is here and then I am going to step out and see how each element greets me today. Hold on to your horses world...I am finally ready to accept what you have in stock for me...yay!!! No matter what...I am going to keep smiling...someone told me yesterday that my happy go lucky attitude makes them sick...brushed it off my shoulder because I dont want to bog him with my worries...hehe. To each his worries seem a mountain so thank you God...that did help me realise that I am not alone in the path of struggles:)
Finally things are coming together in my home...has been a long wait...lol and of course it takes time. Then I head off to my Parents home. I am so excited as I am inundated by all the greetings that day. I am so thankful for my family and friends. My Sisters greet me at the door...and that just makes my heart so happy....it is a great day. After the customary...ooh and aaaahs...I am just happy that my heart is happy. I touch my Parents feet as is customary to get blessings from your elders after praying to God.
We then put away all the pending christmas stuff/trees/ornaments in their respective boxes and stash them away. We then rest some and get ready to go to dinner. We arrive at the restaurant...I chose the location more so for my family because I love taking them to different places. We enjoy dinner and head home. I spend some time with my Sisters and then head on home. I am just so so happy tonight and know deep inside that everything is okay. The worry that has stemmed the happenings of this blog seems distant with a positive end. Tonight all is well:)
Today I am inundated with birthday wishes and I love it!!! I want to celebrate today the best way I can. Pinky always tells me..."it is your birthday...enjoy it and have fun"...and for the first time at being a brand new 38 year old I am in a whole new element to enjoy my birthday.
I told myself that I would wake up as early as I could...so I did. Shower..done. Started work and now am waiting for Anthony to take care of some house projects that I want to get done. I know its my birthday but this is my birthday present to me...to get things fixed in my home. I am really excited to see what today brings. I am going get everything ready while Anthony is here and then I am going to step out and see how each element greets me today. Hold on to your horses world...I am finally ready to accept what you have in stock for me...yay!!! No matter what...I am going to keep smiling...someone told me yesterday that my happy go lucky attitude makes them sick...brushed it off my shoulder because I dont want to bog him with my worries...hehe. To each his worries seem a mountain so thank you God...that did help me realise that I am not alone in the path of struggles:)
Finally things are coming together in my home...has been a long wait...lol and of course it takes time. Then I head off to my Parents home. I am so excited as I am inundated by all the greetings that day. I am so thankful for my family and friends. My Sisters greet me at the door...and that just makes my heart so happy....it is a great day. After the customary...ooh and aaaahs...I am just happy that my heart is happy. I touch my Parents feet as is customary to get blessings from your elders after praying to God.
We then put away all the pending christmas stuff/trees/ornaments in their respective boxes and stash them away. We then rest some and get ready to go to dinner. We arrive at the restaurant...I chose the location more so for my family because I love taking them to different places. We enjoy dinner and head home. I spend some time with my Sisters and then head on home. I am just so so happy tonight and know deep inside that everything is okay. The worry that has stemmed the happenings of this blog seems distant with a positive end. Tonight all is well:)
Friday, January 14, 2011
Day Nine
Good Morning world and happy birthday eve to Me!!!
I am shouting out from the rooftops because my best friend feels that I am purposely trying to forget my birthday...lol:) I must say that it did get me thinking because I had bogged my birthday week with chores completely disregarding the fact that January 15th is my birthday!!! Thank you for that my friend...:) So I am going to relish in the wonder of today, tomorrow and the day after and the day after that one and maybe the rest of the year...who knows. I am just really excited about my birthday...maybe today being one of the few times in my life. I am just excited because I get to work today in an effort to make tomorrow amazing. My Sisters are going to take me out to lunch (its a surprise...)...which in my drama queen moment...I will still act surprised. I get to get a few things done/fixed around my home tomorrow. I am just excited about what this weekend has to offer...a brief preview...day with the family and then temple day with the family and then a sleepover at my besties apartment/haven. I love it love it love it. I have decided to drop people in my life who impact me negatively with no regards for their feelings. I would like to make an attempt to further my baking career which in turn is going to be my nest egg. And I am looking forward to falling in love. Yes people I said it. I know God has someone out there for me. Until I meet him...my mystery man...I will fall in love with that idea.
So after a lovely lunch with my Sisters...and when I am getting ready to go to work...a co-worker that was close to very much but has been pretty distant stopped me and said that she wanted to take me out to drinks for my birthday. After playful back and forth bantor...We go to Chillis and she invites Mark...this guy that I have had a huge crush on forever!!! Come to find out that they are dating and have been keeping it on the d/l. That is okay...I am so happy for both of them. They are indeed cute for each other. And then to my surprise they take me out to LQ for an even more fun night...the club for close to bare sans the bodies sticking to each other. But we ended up having a blast. I did feel guilty because they did not let me pay for anything...anything. It was a great pre-birthday celebration!!!!
I am shouting out from the rooftops because my best friend feels that I am purposely trying to forget my birthday...lol:) I must say that it did get me thinking because I had bogged my birthday week with chores completely disregarding the fact that January 15th is my birthday!!! Thank you for that my friend...:) So I am going to relish in the wonder of today, tomorrow and the day after and the day after that one and maybe the rest of the year...who knows. I am just really excited about my birthday...maybe today being one of the few times in my life. I am just excited because I get to work today in an effort to make tomorrow amazing. My Sisters are going to take me out to lunch (its a surprise...)...which in my drama queen moment...I will still act surprised. I get to get a few things done/fixed around my home tomorrow. I am just excited about what this weekend has to offer...a brief preview...day with the family and then temple day with the family and then a sleepover at my besties apartment/haven. I love it love it love it. I have decided to drop people in my life who impact me negatively with no regards for their feelings. I would like to make an attempt to further my baking career which in turn is going to be my nest egg. And I am looking forward to falling in love. Yes people I said it. I know God has someone out there for me. Until I meet him...my mystery man...I will fall in love with that idea.
So after a lovely lunch with my Sisters...and when I am getting ready to go to work...a co-worker that was close to very much but has been pretty distant stopped me and said that she wanted to take me out to drinks for my birthday. After playful back and forth bantor...We go to Chillis and she invites Mark...this guy that I have had a huge crush on forever!!! Come to find out that they are dating and have been keeping it on the d/l. That is okay...I am so happy for both of them. They are indeed cute for each other. And then to my surprise they take me out to LQ for an even more fun night...the club for close to bare sans the bodies sticking to each other. But we ended up having a blast. I did feel guilty because they did not let me pay for anything...anything. It was a great pre-birthday celebration!!!!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Day Eight
Good Morning world,
I jump out of bed to get an early start...:) I take care of the remnants of the previous night...major cookie baking in da house!!! My coffee is delicious...I clean up my room and make a mental note to get to work a little earlier than usual. I log in at home and start my work first thing I wake up ... but I had my days work cut out for me today.
After I get to work...I take care of the bare essentials and then head out to get the tires checked, fixed and rotated on my car. $180 later I am all set. I smile to myself as I cross out another thing from...to do...to done! I get a text from Antonio asking me about my day and we continue on with the exchange of niceties. I love the initial interaction and the random smiles that surprise me through this phase. As tough as I seem I am still a girly girly on the inside. So he asks me if I would be interested in hanging out tonight at his place that he shares with his roomies to watch a movie and partake in card games. I do let him know that I have a prior engagement but would definitely make an effort to see if I can go....he lives about 45 mins from where I am. We shall see how tonight goes. I do really want to go but do not want him to think of me as any easy prey. Anyway we shall see again. I am about to finish my cookie order and give them the finishing icing touch before I bag them. And have to get ready and head out to Bunco..:).
Well as it so turns out Bunco is not for the timid...lol...neither for the faint at heart. There is a ton of luck, coordination and screaming involved...aah!!! I threatened to kick my Sisters ass for dragging Pinky and myself to this but I might have to save that for another day. Because I had a blast....blast....blast.
I then run to walmart in my pjs...good Lord...much to the persuasion of Pinky. O dear I did not look up...got what I needed and ran to my car...I was in my pjs...lol:) My drive home was one of contentment and thanks as I take in everything the dark world has to offer at this hour. I relish that brief drive home. Maybe it is a good time for me to do so as I had become one of those who just succumb themselves as victims of rigorous commute. I enjoy the bumps on the road as I dodge past the construction zones and smell of fresh tar as well as this hill of a bump before I get to mi casa. I come home and text Antonio and let him know that I will not be able to partake in movie night...and he offers the delicious temptation of a next time to which I gladly accept. I mean I do owe him that and of course for my curiousity sake as well as my anticipation of a timely moment on lip-lock lane. Haha or so I imagine...a girl can do that can't she...hee hee:) I finish packing the cookies and head off to bed...I finally drifted off to sleep after a lot of tossing and turning...thanks Antonio:). Thank you God for a wonderful wonderful day.
I jump out of bed to get an early start...:) I take care of the remnants of the previous night...major cookie baking in da house!!! My coffee is delicious...I clean up my room and make a mental note to get to work a little earlier than usual. I log in at home and start my work first thing I wake up ... but I had my days work cut out for me today.
After I get to work...I take care of the bare essentials and then head out to get the tires checked, fixed and rotated on my car. $180 later I am all set. I smile to myself as I cross out another thing from...to do...to done! I get a text from Antonio asking me about my day and we continue on with the exchange of niceties. I love the initial interaction and the random smiles that surprise me through this phase. As tough as I seem I am still a girly girly on the inside. So he asks me if I would be interested in hanging out tonight at his place that he shares with his roomies to watch a movie and partake in card games. I do let him know that I have a prior engagement but would definitely make an effort to see if I can go....he lives about 45 mins from where I am. We shall see how tonight goes. I do really want to go but do not want him to think of me as any easy prey. Anyway we shall see again. I am about to finish my cookie order and give them the finishing icing touch before I bag them. And have to get ready and head out to Bunco..:).
Well as it so turns out Bunco is not for the timid...lol...neither for the faint at heart. There is a ton of luck, coordination and screaming involved...aah!!! I threatened to kick my Sisters ass for dragging Pinky and myself to this but I might have to save that for another day. Because I had a blast....blast....blast.
I then run to walmart in my pjs...good Lord...much to the persuasion of Pinky. O dear I did not look up...got what I needed and ran to my car...I was in my pjs...lol:) My drive home was one of contentment and thanks as I take in everything the dark world has to offer at this hour. I relish that brief drive home. Maybe it is a good time for me to do so as I had become one of those who just succumb themselves as victims of rigorous commute. I enjoy the bumps on the road as I dodge past the construction zones and smell of fresh tar as well as this hill of a bump before I get to mi casa. I come home and text Antonio and let him know that I will not be able to partake in movie night...and he offers the delicious temptation of a next time to which I gladly accept. I mean I do owe him that and of course for my curiousity sake as well as my anticipation of a timely moment on lip-lock lane. Haha or so I imagine...a girl can do that can't she...hee hee:) I finish packing the cookies and head off to bed...I finally drifted off to sleep after a lot of tossing and turning...thanks Antonio:). Thank you God for a wonderful wonderful day.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Day Seven
Good Morning world,
A new day beckons and I do not want to waste any single minute. I find myself waking up earlier so that I do not miss out on anything and my limitless freedom....it is day seven after all...a whole week. This is the first time I am actually taking stock of each day as it continues its relentless journey...as it always has. Each day with its own purpose and meaning. Wow, what a journey! I get home...a lovely cold drive...just beautiful day. I clean off the remnants of a pre-kitchen fire that I started last night. Aah my kitchen is clean and my coffee consumed. It is going to be a good day. All the wonderful people that touch my life constantly come to my mind like a gentle breeze would touch you on a peaceful spring day. I love love love love these lovely people that continue to bless me with their presence in my life. I love you guys so much...more later:) I come home and finish baking the last set of cookies to be delivered on friday. I am not feeling this one. Every order gets my undivided attention...my mind is just not feeling this. I even took a short cut on this order...something i never do with my cookies. A feeling of calm overcomes me and I am outside myself when I am in my kitchen but it was almost as if I did not want to do this anymore...baking that is. But that is part of my plan...my retirement plan...my nest egg...to own my pastry shop. Am I not the pastry chef that I thought I could aspire to be??? Was it just something I fantasized or romanticized about from watching movies. I dont know but this has definitely got me thinking...:/ However, after meeting my quota for the day...I do feel so relaxed as I curl up on my couch before surrendering myself to the wills of my nocturnal slumber. Good night world...see you in the a.m....I am really looking forward to it!!!
A new day beckons and I do not want to waste any single minute. I find myself waking up earlier so that I do not miss out on anything and my limitless freedom....it is day seven after all...a whole week. This is the first time I am actually taking stock of each day as it continues its relentless journey...as it always has. Each day with its own purpose and meaning. Wow, what a journey! I get home...a lovely cold drive...just beautiful day. I clean off the remnants of a pre-kitchen fire that I started last night. Aah my kitchen is clean and my coffee consumed. It is going to be a good day. All the wonderful people that touch my life constantly come to my mind like a gentle breeze would touch you on a peaceful spring day. I love love love love these lovely people that continue to bless me with their presence in my life. I love you guys so much...more later:) I come home and finish baking the last set of cookies to be delivered on friday. I am not feeling this one. Every order gets my undivided attention...my mind is just not feeling this. I even took a short cut on this order...something i never do with my cookies. A feeling of calm overcomes me and I am outside myself when I am in my kitchen but it was almost as if I did not want to do this anymore...baking that is. But that is part of my plan...my retirement plan...my nest egg...to own my pastry shop. Am I not the pastry chef that I thought I could aspire to be??? Was it just something I fantasized or romanticized about from watching movies. I dont know but this has definitely got me thinking...:/ However, after meeting my quota for the day...I do feel so relaxed as I curl up on my couch before surrendering myself to the wills of my nocturnal slumber. Good night world...see you in the a.m....I am really looking forward to it!!!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Day Six
This morning I have decided to not focus on my impending problems but to focus elsewhere. I have always wanted to volunteer at the coalition so in my 60 days...well 54 now...I need to take care of that and be able to squeeze in as much volunteer time as I can. I also need to take care of a care package and today that will be sole goal. Working out details of this care package...I am super excited and thrilled!!! I will continue this blog later during the day...:)
Workings of the work day were great...protected myself from getting thrown under the bus...and made some enemies on the way.
Got home after stop at the store for some last minute supplies for my cookie order due on Friday. Ran a major mishap with my recipe and almost caused a house fire. My Mom always tells us to check the oven before turning it on...I had a tray with a rubber base in the oven and I forgot to remove it before turning on the oven. Long story short as I am rolling the dough tiny flakes of soot are dropping from the ceiling. At first I thought it was the light in my kitchen smoking up and then I notice smoke coming out of the oven. And upon opening the oven door discover flames in my oven. After putting the fire out...I continue onto the cookies and think to myself...maybe baking is not my fortei!!! And I am okay with that. I love entertaining and cooking for my loved ones and I am going to stick to that for now.
I head off to the gym...have a great 60 min. workout and then head off to my friends house to set up her wireless printer. I love her...She has her moments but deep down she is a really kind person. She makes sure to feed my belly every time I am there. We chat about my failed relationships and tons of girlie topics. After which we head out to the kitchen where I need to work out some kinks on her laptop. And there is this cute giftbag with my name on it. I am like a little kid and She gives me my birthday present. I am so emotionally overwhelmed. I love my present. I get this yummy pumpkin candle and this fantastic 10pc. gumpaste tool set!!!!!! What??? I jump her because I am so excited!!!
And then her son comes home...He has this huge crush on me...mind you he is 20 and I am almost twice his age. His Mom of course has made comments in the past...so she notices that too...and is not too thrilled about it. I can understand that...I would feel the same way if my son wanted to have a relationship with someone who could possibly be his mom. Anyway, he is relentless and of course I am flattered because he is a sweetheart and I have made it very clear to him that he needs to not continue this behaviour. He is on this personal mission to prove to himself that he can make any girl fall for him...uh the unblinded confidence of youth and then real life will happen...o boy will it.
I go to bed with a faint feeling that everything is going to be okay...as I see glimpses of people I love...and also knowing that I am going to have a night of uninterrupted slumber....:) I have truly utilized my day to the fullest...:)
Workings of the work day were great...protected myself from getting thrown under the bus...and made some enemies on the way.
Got home after stop at the store for some last minute supplies for my cookie order due on Friday. Ran a major mishap with my recipe and almost caused a house fire. My Mom always tells us to check the oven before turning it on...I had a tray with a rubber base in the oven and I forgot to remove it before turning on the oven. Long story short as I am rolling the dough tiny flakes of soot are dropping from the ceiling. At first I thought it was the light in my kitchen smoking up and then I notice smoke coming out of the oven. And upon opening the oven door discover flames in my oven. After putting the fire out...I continue onto the cookies and think to myself...maybe baking is not my fortei!!! And I am okay with that. I love entertaining and cooking for my loved ones and I am going to stick to that for now.
I head off to the gym...have a great 60 min. workout and then head off to my friends house to set up her wireless printer. I love her...She has her moments but deep down she is a really kind person. She makes sure to feed my belly every time I am there. We chat about my failed relationships and tons of girlie topics. After which we head out to the kitchen where I need to work out some kinks on her laptop. And there is this cute giftbag with my name on it. I am like a little kid and She gives me my birthday present. I am so emotionally overwhelmed. I love my present. I get this yummy pumpkin candle and this fantastic 10pc. gumpaste tool set!!!!!! What??? I jump her because I am so excited!!!
And then her son comes home...He has this huge crush on me...mind you he is 20 and I am almost twice his age. His Mom of course has made comments in the past...so she notices that too...and is not too thrilled about it. I can understand that...I would feel the same way if my son wanted to have a relationship with someone who could possibly be his mom. Anyway, he is relentless and of course I am flattered because he is a sweetheart and I have made it very clear to him that he needs to not continue this behaviour. He is on this personal mission to prove to himself that he can make any girl fall for him...uh the unblinded confidence of youth and then real life will happen...o boy will it.
I go to bed with a faint feeling that everything is going to be okay...as I see glimpses of people I love...and also knowing that I am going to have a night of uninterrupted slumber....:) I have truly utilized my day to the fullest...:)
Day Five
I wake up refreshed...a small infraction in my sleep thank to my neighbor wakes me up earlier than I would like. My coffee has yet again managed to perk me up.
The lingering feeling of freedom slipping from my fingers is still here in the back of my mind. But at the same time I
want to take care of all things that have been pending on my to do list. This way I can create my retreat. Just got off
the phone with the construction company because my tires are shot. I live in the center of a construction zone and this is
going to be the third time that I am going to have to replace my tires. So they were pretty helpful but need tons of
proof, pictures, receipts etc. I am home from work and just the welcome feeling I get when entering my home is pure bliss.
A bowl of cereal and then I am going to tackle my craftroom. Everything needs to be in its place and I want to finish all
my unfinished tasks in 60 days. A nice little game of pogo scrabble and then I am going to tackle my room. So I am trying to find discount codes for eharmony and will not pay more than $10 a month. I would like to go to bed early tonight so after making a lovely dinner of pasta and vodka sauce...I watch a lovely movie. As I am getting ready to go to bed I get this text from Antonio...lovely guy that I met through a friend. Asks me to join him and his roomates for a night of movie watching and card games. I would love to go but I have a prior commitment of going to bunco with my sisters mom-in-law. I would have cancelled and gone with Antonio but staying true to my new years resolution of staying true to my commitments I am going to go to bunco. However, he does not take no for an answer and says that movie night will not commence till 11 so we shall see. After that I went to bed with a smile on my face....:) Good night world:)
The lingering feeling of freedom slipping from my fingers is still here in the back of my mind. But at the same time I
want to take care of all things that have been pending on my to do list. This way I can create my retreat. Just got off
the phone with the construction company because my tires are shot. I live in the center of a construction zone and this is
going to be the third time that I am going to have to replace my tires. So they were pretty helpful but need tons of
proof, pictures, receipts etc. I am home from work and just the welcome feeling I get when entering my home is pure bliss.
A bowl of cereal and then I am going to tackle my craftroom. Everything needs to be in its place and I want to finish all
my unfinished tasks in 60 days. A nice little game of pogo scrabble and then I am going to tackle my room. So I am trying to find discount codes for eharmony and will not pay more than $10 a month. I would like to go to bed early tonight so after making a lovely dinner of pasta and vodka sauce...I watch a lovely movie. As I am getting ready to go to bed I get this text from Antonio...lovely guy that I met through a friend. Asks me to join him and his roomates for a night of movie watching and card games. I would love to go but I have a prior commitment of going to bunco with my sisters mom-in-law. I would have cancelled and gone with Antonio but staying true to my new years resolution of staying true to my commitments I am going to go to bunco. However, he does not take no for an answer and says that movie night will not commence till 11 so we shall see. After that I went to bed with a smile on my face....:) Good night world:)
Monday, January 10, 2011
Day Four
I am up...with my wonderful cup of coffee. Have given my sinks and tubs the clorox treatment. Am making this initial
entry to my blog only to be inundated with details of my day later. Now dishes and shower...like a G6? Am heading out the
door to run a couple of errands and then head off to spend the day with my Sisters. Arrived at my parents. Pinky is
scrubbing the floor and now it looks absolutely spotless. Shruti is upstairs cleaning. Mom and Dad are doing them their
thing. I just love being with the same area as my sisters...I forget all my problems and its very therapeutic for Me. We
then congregate in the kitchen and munch on chips and Pinkys seven layer dip and chit chat and exchange the details of our
week. Mom has yet again managed to piss off Pinky. After getting no sympathy from me Mom continues with her chores. We
have a great day and after Pinky picks up Tara from the airport...We gather in the living room with Jordan and Shruti and
watch Jersey Shores. Pinky and I go in the kitchen to make cupcakes. Mom and Dad come in the kitchen to pick on Pinkys
weight. I walk out into the living room. My heart gets really sad for Pinky. It started with me and I did not want it
to continue onto my sisters. My parents have a way of disposing off their insecurities in form of ridicule onto us. And
this just becomes their little bully tactic before they disperse off to their final activities for the day. Of course this
leaving the affected ones with guilt, hurt and anger. That is how we go to bed. So when does it stop and when do parents
actually act like parents and children get to be children. When did children become the sponges with which parents mop
their disappointments, regrets and unfulfilled wills and dreams??? Why is nothing ever good enough? Is that why We tend
to look elsewhere for acceptance in order to fulfil our parched desire to just be accepted as who we are?
entry to my blog only to be inundated with details of my day later. Now dishes and shower...like a G6? Am heading out the
door to run a couple of errands and then head off to spend the day with my Sisters. Arrived at my parents. Pinky is
scrubbing the floor and now it looks absolutely spotless. Shruti is upstairs cleaning. Mom and Dad are doing them their
thing. I just love being with the same area as my sisters...I forget all my problems and its very therapeutic for Me. We
then congregate in the kitchen and munch on chips and Pinkys seven layer dip and chit chat and exchange the details of our
week. Mom has yet again managed to piss off Pinky. After getting no sympathy from me Mom continues with her chores. We
have a great day and after Pinky picks up Tara from the airport...We gather in the living room with Jordan and Shruti and
watch Jersey Shores. Pinky and I go in the kitchen to make cupcakes. Mom and Dad come in the kitchen to pick on Pinkys
weight. I walk out into the living room. My heart gets really sad for Pinky. It started with me and I did not want it
to continue onto my sisters. My parents have a way of disposing off their insecurities in form of ridicule onto us. And
this just becomes their little bully tactic before they disperse off to their final activities for the day. Of course this
leaving the affected ones with guilt, hurt and anger. That is how we go to bed. So when does it stop and when do parents
actually act like parents and children get to be children. When did children become the sponges with which parents mop
their disappointments, regrets and unfulfilled wills and dreams??? Why is nothing ever good enough? Is that why We tend
to look elsewhere for acceptance in order to fulfil our parched desire to just be accepted as who we are?
Day Three
It is saturday...I would love nothing more than to sleep in. Cannot do so as my downstairs neighbors loud yells slice
through my slumber. Fret not I say to myself...I get out of bed and make a mental note to get some ear plugs asap. I have
not been able to sleep in ever since the day she has moved in. She has confronted me to ask me if I hear yells and after
my affirmation of such...she blames the yelling on her overactive boys. Really???? Lady...You have serious anger issues!
She spends her mornings yelling at her kids. Anyway...will not give her credit by taking up space on my blog.
So I have decided to take care of all pending issues within my 60 day timeframe. One setback to my plan...my handyman
cannot make it today...why? despite our appointment he has to take care of an emergency...a pipe leak...so this throws back
my household fixes another week...ugh. No worries...am getting my household chores done. Have some returns to make at the
store and fill up my pantry for the time when I will be spending a lot of time at home. Albeit it is rather soothing. I
call my best friend and we decide to have lunch in my neck of the woods and then come home for some coffee and wonderful
heartwarming conversation. She knows everything about me apart from my sisters. She is truly a gift to my soul. I can
speak to her about anything that is on my mind without any hesitation or fear of being judged or ridiculed. You constantly
feed my soul in epic ways. We meet up and lets just say...our conversations are in tangents because we try to fit in three
or more topics in one conversation...lol. We have a lovely lunch and a window shopping walk at the village before we head
to my home for some coffee and tons of goofy laughs. In her eyes my setback is miniscule in the bigger scheme of things
and now I am able to see it as such. Our conversations are innate and wonderful. It is almost like travelling the world
through someone elses eyes...a journey that is deep and meaningful and when you reflect on it it spiritually lifts you. So
I dont know what my purpose in life is, but I do know this that the end result is going to be sweet like the nectar of the
Gods. She leaves and I am left with a feeling of contentment...just sheer contentment. I go to bed knowing that things
cannot be really that bad and it is going to workout in the end. I am going to look back at today and smile on the inside
because my trials and tribulations and my close knit support circle would be absolutely untradeable for
nothing...nada...zilch.
through my slumber. Fret not I say to myself...I get out of bed and make a mental note to get some ear plugs asap. I have
not been able to sleep in ever since the day she has moved in. She has confronted me to ask me if I hear yells and after
my affirmation of such...she blames the yelling on her overactive boys. Really???? Lady...You have serious anger issues!
She spends her mornings yelling at her kids. Anyway...will not give her credit by taking up space on my blog.
So I have decided to take care of all pending issues within my 60 day timeframe. One setback to my plan...my handyman
cannot make it today...why? despite our appointment he has to take care of an emergency...a pipe leak...so this throws back
my household fixes another week...ugh. No worries...am getting my household chores done. Have some returns to make at the
store and fill up my pantry for the time when I will be spending a lot of time at home. Albeit it is rather soothing. I
call my best friend and we decide to have lunch in my neck of the woods and then come home for some coffee and wonderful
heartwarming conversation. She knows everything about me apart from my sisters. She is truly a gift to my soul. I can
speak to her about anything that is on my mind without any hesitation or fear of being judged or ridiculed. You constantly
feed my soul in epic ways. We meet up and lets just say...our conversations are in tangents because we try to fit in three
or more topics in one conversation...lol. We have a lovely lunch and a window shopping walk at the village before we head
to my home for some coffee and tons of goofy laughs. In her eyes my setback is miniscule in the bigger scheme of things
and now I am able to see it as such. Our conversations are innate and wonderful. It is almost like travelling the world
through someone elses eyes...a journey that is deep and meaningful and when you reflect on it it spiritually lifts you. So
I dont know what my purpose in life is, but I do know this that the end result is going to be sweet like the nectar of the
Gods. She leaves and I am left with a feeling of contentment...just sheer contentment. I go to bed knowing that things
cannot be really that bad and it is going to workout in the end. I am going to look back at today and smile on the inside
because my trials and tribulations and my close knit support circle would be absolutely untradeable for
nothing...nada...zilch.
Day Two
I go to work...relishing every minute of getting there. I have a great day. I enjoy it and make the declaration that I
will be walking to work to save my tires as the construction is relentless where I live and I have had to fix my tires
three times. Note to self ...need to call the construction company because I need to fix my tires yet again. I am super
excited for my day because I am having a girls night with this delightful neighbor...She is ten. She has the mind of a
twenty year old. She plays video games all day and her Mom says She is a shy kid. I feel my nurturing instincts switch on
because it reminds me of myself when I was ten. Not many friends, no siblings at that time, and my thoughts and my books
to accompany me. So, I have been sending little gifts her way...trinkets like books, small purses...girlie stuff. Her Mom
stops me one day as I am going to work and says how her daughter looks upto me...so I suggest movie night if her daughter
is interested. The Mom is beside herself and is super excited for her daughter to have a mentor. So We decided on Friday
night(today) after I get home from work. I made sure I was plan free today. I call her Mom and ask her for suggestions
for Ninas favorite snacks and meal ideas. After making my grocery runs...I head home...and her mom greets me as I am
walking home and says She will be sending Nina up with some chick flicks. I prepare a wonderful spread of snacks and
drinks. Nina comes over...We talk about girl stuff and boys of course, while watching her favorite movies...and We have a
great time. It was an amazing evening...and before I know it...its midnight...!! Her Dad comes to get her and is so
thankful for the time I spent with this daughter. I feel so happy that I was able to make a difference in her life. She
is such a smart kid with the mind of a genius. So intuitive, well behaved and plainly and wonderful child. The world is a
wonderful place. Good night world:)
will be walking to work to save my tires as the construction is relentless where I live and I have had to fix my tires
three times. Note to self ...need to call the construction company because I need to fix my tires yet again. I am super
excited for my day because I am having a girls night with this delightful neighbor...She is ten. She has the mind of a
twenty year old. She plays video games all day and her Mom says She is a shy kid. I feel my nurturing instincts switch on
because it reminds me of myself when I was ten. Not many friends, no siblings at that time, and my thoughts and my books
to accompany me. So, I have been sending little gifts her way...trinkets like books, small purses...girlie stuff. Her Mom
stops me one day as I am going to work and says how her daughter looks upto me...so I suggest movie night if her daughter
is interested. The Mom is beside herself and is super excited for her daughter to have a mentor. So We decided on Friday
night(today) after I get home from work. I made sure I was plan free today. I call her Mom and ask her for suggestions
for Ninas favorite snacks and meal ideas. After making my grocery runs...I head home...and her mom greets me as I am
walking home and says She will be sending Nina up with some chick flicks. I prepare a wonderful spread of snacks and
drinks. Nina comes over...We talk about girl stuff and boys of course, while watching her favorite movies...and We have a
great time. It was an amazing evening...and before I know it...its midnight...!! Her Dad comes to get her and is so
thankful for the time I spent with this daughter. I feel so happy that I was able to make a difference in her life. She
is such a smart kid with the mind of a genius. So intuitive, well behaved and plainly and wonderful child. The world is a
wonderful place. Good night world:)
Day One
Oh I remember it so vividly...freedom slowly slipping from my fingers. I know how it feels. I am numb. They have
stripped me and left me bare. So vulnerable and exposed. Am I hurt...of course!!! Am I feeling betrayed...absolutely!!!
Am I going to give up...no freaking way!!!
After that initial humiliation...My Sisters treated me to breakfast to soften the blow. Oh gosh I love them so much. My
Mom calls me and wants an update...I dont tell her until She gets out of work. Bless her heart...She is so upset. But I
tell it is going to be alright. My Sisters and I come home and get back to the day. I feel a huge burden off my
shoulders...I feel relieved almost. My basic right to drive my car has been taken away from Me today...why because mere
human beings decide to overule Gods mighty will. However in the end God prevails always.
I dont know how to think right now or what to do. I do make as many phone calls to whomever I can in order to resolve this
situation...to get back this small particle of freedom in this country of the free and the brave.
My sisters leave for their hair appt. and I continue doing some work. Alicia calls me and asks me if She could come over.
I love the moral support and the support system that helps me stay focused. We have a lovely wing filled with salad,
wings, tea and wonderful conversation. I take Her home and my sister calls me over for subs and baked beans. As always I
leave my parents home well fed...not only my tummy but my soul. We share crazy laughs over watching Jersey Shores and as I
drive home...reality is still lingering in the back of mind. But I know one thing for sure I am going to make each day
count. This is all part of the bigger pic right(If you are reading this thank...you for this awakening thought that has
filled my day now:) and I love You with all my heart).
I go to bed knowing it is going to working out great in the end.
stripped me and left me bare. So vulnerable and exposed. Am I hurt...of course!!! Am I feeling betrayed...absolutely!!!
Am I going to give up...no freaking way!!!
After that initial humiliation...My Sisters treated me to breakfast to soften the blow. Oh gosh I love them so much. My
Mom calls me and wants an update...I dont tell her until She gets out of work. Bless her heart...She is so upset. But I
tell it is going to be alright. My Sisters and I come home and get back to the day. I feel a huge burden off my
shoulders...I feel relieved almost. My basic right to drive my car has been taken away from Me today...why because mere
human beings decide to overule Gods mighty will. However in the end God prevails always.
I dont know how to think right now or what to do. I do make as many phone calls to whomever I can in order to resolve this
situation...to get back this small particle of freedom in this country of the free and the brave.
My sisters leave for their hair appt. and I continue doing some work. Alicia calls me and asks me if She could come over.
I love the moral support and the support system that helps me stay focused. We have a lovely wing filled with salad,
wings, tea and wonderful conversation. I take Her home and my sister calls me over for subs and baked beans. As always I
leave my parents home well fed...not only my tummy but my soul. We share crazy laughs over watching Jersey Shores and as I
drive home...reality is still lingering in the back of mind. But I know one thing for sure I am going to make each day
count. This is all part of the bigger pic right(If you are reading this thank...you for this awakening thought that has
filled my day now:) and I love You with all my heart).
I go to bed knowing it is going to working out great in the end.
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